Hey readers! LOL. I like imagining I have a ton of fans out there reading my posts. I’m posting kind of late at night, but I spent all day doing school work. I was talking to a friend yesterday and she said something I thought was very relatable. She said, “It feels like there’s more work now, then there was when we were at school.” I absolutely agree! I feel like I had so much more free time back in Oney! I was super stressed today, though, not only from school work, but also from real life problems. I gotta figure out what I’m gonna do for summer work. Bills keep coming and no one gives 2 f***s about people struggling financially in this epidemic. I don’t really curse a lot, I cringe when I do, but I get so mad/frustrated sometimes and it slips out. This may be a long entry, but I just gotta vent. Anyway, back to bills and financial stress. My mom got laid off also because of this epidemic. My dad’s the only one working right now. I’m concerned because she’s been dipping into her savings for rent. Sometimes, I wanna cry out of frustration for how helpless I feel. I know crying is not weakness, and I respect those who can show their emotions in front of people, that’s bravery. Unfortunately, crying doesn’t fix anything, though, so if I were to cry I would just feel useless and I probably wouldn’t be able to stop, honestly. Haha, probably TMI, oh well! I didn’t get to work out today, I think that may be why I have so much negative vibes. I haven’t smoked in over two months and times like these I could really use a smoke on the roof. It’s something me and my housemates used to do back in Oney. I can’t smoke when I’m home:/ Life’s a struggle, but oh well. Anyway, I’ve also been really stressed because I’m gonna be a senior next year and I AM NOT READY TO GROW UP. I used to have a plan. My plan was I would graduate high school, go to college, major in psych, graduate college with some kind of honors, go straight into the Peace Corps about a month or two after, then go to grad school and then figure out what to do with my life. It’s crazy that life really doesn’t go the way you plan, no matter how hard you try staying on track. I don’t want to do the Peace Corps anymore. I would like to help people, but I’m afraid of growing up, honestly. Well, I’ll write another entry on my future life plans after this, for now I will vent. I have come to the conclusion that me and my brother will have to get jobs ASAP and my mother can stay and watch my sister. I am also very stressed because I had bought a car from a random person before this s**t happened and now I can’t even drive it around because I was never able to register it and switch the license plates and change the title. I’m stressed because I keep getting this thought in the back of my head ‘what if I bought a stolen car?? and the guy just ran off with the money???’ I’m a little nervous because even though this sounds cocky, I am never wrong, even when I wish I was. I have a sixth sense of knowing everything, and it’s a blessing and a curse. Okay, I’m gonna move on, I hate talking about my problems. It’s pointless, if no one’s gonna solve them for me. Side note: I am not a negative Nancy, I’m only negative in my mind and I’m typing literally as I think. Also, I had some revelations I’ll share in my next entry, this one’s already super long.