The quarantine has been especially hard for me and my family. It started out with not being able to go to the store, then it turned into not being able to go anywhere, not even to my fiance’s house. After about a week of being in quarantine, my grandma gave us the news that her cancer had come back. She had full intentions of getting chemotherapy and attending my wedding in the summer of 2021. She wanted to fight her cancer until she landed in the hospital because of her cancer. While there, she could not have any visitors and she, along with the nurses and doctors, had to wear a mask. She was so scared and wanted to come home. After running a few tests, they let her come home and two days after that, she went to her chemotherapy appointment. She was scared to go, scared to go through chemotherapy for the second time within less than five years. She asked the doctor some questions while there and realized she could not go through it again. The side effects were too scary, potentially enough to kill her after just one dose. She decided, being 81, that she would rather spend her last days with her family. It has been three weeks now that she has been in Hospice at home. My family and I have been helping her all day and every day. She is so grateful for us and she is so happy she lived a full life with love and happiness. I know the end is coming for her and I am so scared. I wanted her to be at my wedding and I did not see this coming. I tried on her wedding dress, along with my mother’s and my aunt’s, just so she could feel like she was a part of it all. She told me although she won’t be there in person, she will still be there. I hope that is the truth, I hope I will be able to feel her presence. I can’t wait for this virus to be over, for me to finish grieving over my grandma, and for things to get back to normal. I pray for that day.
